I sat down to write this the way I start most of my writing: to stop myself from blabbering endlessly on the topic to my dear friends, who have good-naturedly entertained and endured me. These long conversations over coffee or lunch help me refine my position in real time. Then I take it on the road, try it on another friend, tell myself I should really write this down, until I am forced to, lest I bring it up again.

This one I have been talking about for at least two years. And lately, I am being introduced to new audiences who, however varied, all tend to sputter when they hear my story. So, basically, this is the essay I will send people when they are confused or intrigued by me and want to know more. The essay that will somehow encapsulate my motivations, my philosophy, and how they’ve led me here, and you reading this.

So, let’s start here: for most of my professional life, I have felt deeply illegible to people.

Not because I was unfocused or scattered or could not c…

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